i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
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