i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
