You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
