Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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