this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
