I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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