i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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