I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
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Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
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I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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