Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
