Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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