i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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