Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Text me some of your sweat
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
