u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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