I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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