I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
