YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
