I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
