have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I want a musical about memes.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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