can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
