im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
