i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
