Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
i now understand why vodka
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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