wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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