Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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