i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
