belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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