Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize