im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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