Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
