I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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