Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
