He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
