Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
