no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
