i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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