The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
