So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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