I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
