you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
