You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Randomize
