I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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