He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I understand Curling. That high.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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