Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize