Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
