this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Randomize