i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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