You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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