In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Randomize
