I accidentally had phone sex last night
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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