Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
party gras won. party gras always wins.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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