You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
