We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize