the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
