her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
