I wannas sexs uuuuu
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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