My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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