I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Randomize
