and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
