everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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