Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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