Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
