talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
no, he came in my armpit
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
